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Reading For Couples

Try to See it My Way

Try to See It My Way: Being Fair in Love and Marriage

by Janet Hibbs, Ph.D.

Most couples enter marriage hoping it will last forever-so why are more and more relationships failing? As Dr. B. Janet Hibbs explains, the key to solving most relationship problems-whether relating to money, children, chores, sex, or in-laws-is through a shared sense of fairness. Intuitively, we think we know what’s “fair.” But as this book reveals, the way we each understand fairness is much more complex, and is powerfully shaped by our family expectations and experiences.

Dr. Hibbs provides readers with a road map for recognizing imbalances and building a stronger, more loving relationship based on a new kind of fairness. Filled with compassion, practical advice, and compelling, real-life examples throughout, this book offers a groundbreaking understanding of the issues that divide couples over time-and how they can be happier and closer than ever.

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Back From Betrayal

Back from Betrayal: Saving a Marriage, a Family, a Life

by Suzy Farbman

Though she describes herself as “Generation S”-one of the cultural “straddlers” who came of age in the 1960s-Farbman admits she was more into pruning her rosebushes “than marching for peace.” A virgin when she married her real estate developer husband in 1967, Farbman was a faithful, supportive wife for 30 years. She set aside her own career to raise their children, turning down job offers outside her husband’s Detroit base of operations. She thought she had a very good marriage. Then her husband admitted-after she’d become suspicious and brought him to “couples therapy”-that he’d been having affairs with other women. Farbman was devastated. But rather than go straight to a divorce lawyer, she decided to deal with her pain and confusion and see if her marriage could be salvaged. She went to Onsite, a crisis intervention center in Tennessee, and also to the Deepak Chopra Institute. She consulted “spirit guides” and an astrologist. She tried realignment by “cranio-sacral massage.” Her husband went to The Meadows, an Arizona facility for behavioral disorders, and together they studied “A Course in Miracles.” After much rethinking and revising of their interpersonal skills, the Farbmans were able to celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary together stronger, wiser and happier.

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The Mindful Couple

The Mindful Couple: How Acceptance and Mindfulness Can Lead You to the Love You Want

by Robyn D. Walser, Ph.D. and Darrah Westrup, Ph.D.

All of us want to be fully accepted in our relationships, yet it can be difficult to fully accept our partners for who they are. This insightful guide for couples is based on a simple concept: Act out of kindness, love, and acceptance, and you will open your relationship for the creation of greater kindness, love, and acceptance.

With strategies drawn from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), a powerful therapeutic approach, The Mindful Couple will help you identify your core values and discover, as a couple, the beauty that is available to you and your partner when you bring greater awareness and values-guided behavior to your relationship. Each chapter explores a key issue, such as passion, fidelity, and the balance between dependence and independence, and includes specific practices you can do alone or with your partner to help you build a vital relationship.

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10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America’s Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

by John Gottman

In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington — made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods.

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Why Marriages Succeed or Fail

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last

by John Gottman

From psychology professor (Univ. of Washington) and marriage researcher Gottman: an upbeat, easy-to-follow manual based on research into the dynamics of married couples. Gottman describes his studies as being akin to a CAT scan of a living relationship and asserts that he’s been able to predict the future of marriages with an accuracy rate of over 90 percent. In 1983 and 1986, his research team monitored more than a hundred married couples in Indiana and Illinois with electrodes, video cameras, and microphones as they attempted to work out real conflicts.

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Every Day I Love You More

Every Day I Love You More (Just Not Today): Lessons in Loving One Person for Life

by Nancy Shulins

In prose that’s alternately breezy and pointed, Shulins offers a collection of brief anecdotal essays on plucking out Cupid’s slings and arrows and replenishing the spirit of a lifelong marriage.

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